Posted: April 30, 2013 in Poetry


You got a pull on the wool

While i nodded at the wheel

But i keep my cool

In fact just call Me mR. FREEZE

For i’m so good at apathy

It becomes

A contagious dizeaze

It is but

An end to these means

It is not

Whatever it seems

Burst apart

From your seAMs

  1. Hi Carl! My email that was linked to WordPress was hacked and is no more.

    I will contact you when I set up a new one.

    Hope all is okay with you! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • I’m sorry to hear, hope you don’t think that was a part of my agenda. I’ve been hacked so many times on twitter it is crazy. Stupid stuff too, like, hey someone is spreading nasty rumors about you. makes you wonder who spends that much time developing such trivial nonsense. I’m in the process of reinventing myself. I got to cut some of this anger away. Was wondering if you have any tips. I’ve watched your site blow up and I value your opinion. I could use some advice. I just didn’t want to clog up your comment threads with my crap but I don’t mind clogging mine! Hope you get that bug taken care of.

  2. Haaahaaa, part of your aggenda? The thought crossed my mind for a split-second……Lol…..but never seriously considered it would be you. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Well actually, thank goodness it was not my computer that got hacked. It was the Yahoo email server that someone got into and used thousands of emails to send a phoney letter to contacts. My sister actually got an email saying I was in London England, had my wallet stollen and that I was desperate and out of cash, could she please, Yadda yadda yadda, …….My sister being who she is, panniced and contacted my other sister who talked some sense into her and told her it was probably phoney, Anyway when I got home from work I found that my email which I had use for seven years without a hitch had been messed with and I could not even get into it. Luckily like I say it was not my computer as I have an excellent security system. Anyway have not set up a new email yet, have been sick with some sort of virus and have been off work all week. Been a bad couple months for me, with one thing after another breaking down and draining my budget.

    But ya Carl, ANGER, funny you should mention that in relation to yourself. Reading your stuff I was struck by the fact that even though the things you say need absolutely to be said, I have had the feeling that Anger has been eating away at you. Not a good thing, no.

    From what I know of your life I can relate to it’s living-on-the-edge aspect. I am there myself and it is difficult not to be bitter, resentful and angry. But I am a pragmatist and if I look back at the choices I made, I have to objectively say that I did have free will to make the choices I did. The crux of the matter is I always did not consider all the possible down-to-earth consequences and thus had to later live with outcomes that were anything but romantic and rosy. But when we are young we tend to be unrealistic a lot of the times, overlooking how things really work in this society.

    And I have had a lot of eye-openers over the years. I feel you have as well. What we have come to see and know is not always a pretty picture for sure. But in the end, I have also come to realize: IT IS NOT PERSONAL. The world has always been a screwed-up-mess and probably always will be. What IS personal though is our approach to that fact. What I have learned is that the Best weapon and defence, and the best personal Joy, that any one of us can bring to the “Game” is TO KNOW THYSELF

    Knowing yourself means many things. It means being able to go deep within yourself, and be honest enough to see who you really are in essence. It means understanding why you think a certain way, how you will react in a situation, and how to change both to become a higher being. When one can look within and know their faults, weaknesses, strengths, and believes that affect action and clearly be able to identify the details of Self, we can begin to see life as a creative act . Creative in the sense of using who we really are and throwing that out into our daily lives to mold the outcomes we would personally like to see and feel…..instead of feeling like a victim of circumstance. Being able to change our reactions enough to get more desireable feedbacks from the world, for example, …. that is the beginning of wisdom of self-knowledge.

    Don’t want to sound preachy here. Am trying to relate what I have actually experienced. Looking back there were negative circumstances that could have been much more positive had I known myself better and used the positive qualities I did have within me (rather than dwelling in depression for example).

    I could bitch all day and night about my financial situation and my lot in life. Why do I not have the job I was educated for? Why do I have to be poor? Why does everything have to be so expensive? Why does the cost of food keep rising? Why do governments set things up to benefit the rich and let us at the lower end struggle? Why is it the only job I can get is in the service industry where people are in my face all day, causing me to succumb to painful flues and viruses and the necessity of taking time off with no pay? Well to be honest with myself, I ended up here through a convoluted process of choices that I myself made, and/or I made choices along the way that benefited an artistic lifestyle, not a financially secure lifestyle. I spent years reading thousands of books, rather that work at a menial boring job. Well what did I expect the outcome to be? You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

    But no matter how bleak things may appear and are, there are rays of sunshine, and I DO experience every single day, the fact that if I smile the world does smile with me and I get treated better and better things happen everywhere I am. Because I have created a SELF that I LOVE, I love who I am, and if I can’t live financially from my art and poetry, I still have the wonder of internet to be able to share it with the world. In this way I am more than simply suriviving. I am creatively thriving. And I find that being positive, grateful and even joyous about what I do have, has drawn those little miracles my way that makes things a little easier to swallow for someone living on the bottom rung of the economic ladder. For example, I prefer to get up very early and get my day going. Just so happened my workplace loves that fact and has given me the 6 a.m. to 2 shift. I get home and still have half a day to do creative stuff, and my work doesn’t feel like it takes up my entire life.

    I still get angry yes. But it is more a non-personal anger at the stupidity of the human species. We have greatness in us, but the worst negative qualities seem to be running the world. Not fair, not nice. But that is the way it is. Why burn your soul in that hell-fire? Nothing good will come of anger except burning your own soul it that hell-fire………….SO I MOVE PAST IT……….I go into the spiritual realm …….I AM, the Universe IS, there is Beauty, there is Truth, there is Love. And we’ll get by with a little help from our true friends (including ourselves)

    Love your new look Carl………Just don’t cut your ear off ๐Ÿ™‚ though I may have talked it off here.
    Enough for now.

    I’ll set up my new email today. If you want to talk on IM we could do that too.

    Your friend ~~~ Angela (3:50 a.m. time for breakfast, lol )

  3. Horrible, my dealings with virususesss do seem trivial in comparison. Hope that is all sorted.
    I agree with the self awareness aspect and my honesty does not wear well socially. I suppose that is really why I always wanted to write, to get my slant across the only way I could. But lately it has been a question of:
    what makes my slant so special to go advertising it?
    I thought getting published would give me answers.
    Just more questions now.
    it is so hard to break into the “scene”
    We are most definitely the sum of our past actions. Agree. But to move on is divine. Transfiguration is right around the corner. Yes.
    But faith is often a shaky business these days

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